For years and years we have heard the prophecy that one day the power and prestige of the United States of America would be outdone by another nation. There have been lots of philosophical, theocratic, and alcohol tinged forecasts about when this would happen, and who would be the new world leader.
Well, much to our chagrin, the new leader is not the United States of America. That’s kind of obvious. The real surprise is that our standing has been eclipsed by a nation that was literally bankrupt a decade ago. Back then the USA tried to help these former communists make a go of it as a democracy.
Oh, how the worm turns.
We did not lose a war. We have not gone monetarily bankrupt. Our citizenry have not gotten much lazier. So, what happened to the robust, thriving, confident United States of America? What has made us a bunch of losers?
We elected Barack Obama.
Obama is an apologist for Marxist dogma, and an unrepentant activist in outdated social philosophies. All it takes is one disastrous leader to bring down an empire, and thrust an entire civilization into poverty and slavery. We have found ours and his name is Obama.
Our new world leader is a man of great accomplishments. He started life in modest surroundings and succeeded in accomplishing the
American Russian Dream!
Little Vlad followed in the footsteps of his father, Vladimir Spiridonovich, who was a cop in the Soviet NKVD. They took care of everything from traffic tickets to political executions, whatever was needed at the moment.
As an elementary school student, he copied his father and specialized in breaking the fingers of those who would not give up their lunch money. In high school he graduated magnum cum louder, and was the top sharp-shooter in his AK-47 class. He was also the recipient of the Joseph Stalin medal for diplomatic debasement.
Hitching his wagon to the Communist Party star, Vlad went on to secure fame and glory at the International Law branch of the Law Department of the Leningrad State University in 1975. His PhD thesis was on international law, and titled, “The West Can’t Do Anything When You Spit In Their Face“. Well, maybe not. The real title is in the Wikipedia article, somewhere.
With his KGB career into full swing, young Vladimir achieved the lofty heights of Lieutenant Colonel, and was awarded the Russian Federation Order of Honour. For this honor he was photographed for the centerfold of Pravda’s monthly magazine, “Our Russian Heros”. Putin’s topless photo is legendary.
Without further ado, allow me to present the newest Leader Of The
Free World, Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.