Category: rapture

Everybody Wants To Go To Heaven…

But, nobody wants to die. That’s the wisdom of the people, and they are right. There are literally thousands of people who are ready for the rapture. The rapture can be seen as a time when you can go to heaven without dying.

Given that the chance of the rapture is imminent why should I have to die to receive some of the earthly benefits of such an occurrence?
I am tired of paying bills. I am tired of paying taxes. I am tired of putting up with the empty suits in Washington telling me how to live my life.
Shirking my duties may not seem to be the Christian thing to do, but, it is awfully tempting to assume that the rapture will happen before the bill collectors catch up. Is that insane, or what?
Yes. I do want to go to heaven. No, I do not want to die. Yes, I am really angry with the nation’s leadership and brain dead policies. Just how am I expected to eke out a living with the anti-business and anti-people policies issuing forth from the White House?
Dear Lord, Please take me now and deliver me from the idiots and mad men now in leadership positions in our fair nation. Thank for your promise of eternal life, and I pray that the Democrats have nothing to do with it.
Amen.

Where Did All The People Go?

My current job is something like, “Driving Miss Daisy”. Whenever my wife has a problem, or just doesn’t want to drive, I am drafted to do the job.

Last week, my wife had been ordered to show up in the county superior court for jury duty. In Atlanta  this involved driving to downtown and finding a parking place before eight o’clock in the morning. In my semi-retirement years I consider this to be too damned early.
On the morning is question, the suspects (us) loaded into the family sedan, hooked by McDonalds for a couple of Egg McMuffins, and proceeded southwards towards the big city. We were immediately struck by the fact that there was hardly ANY traffic. At 6:30 on a weekday morning, this was highly unusual. 
It was not a holiday, nor a day next to a weekend. This was a Thursday morning and all government agencies and banks would be open. There was almost NO TRAFFIC!
“What could be going on?”, I thought. Where are all the people? 
Then, it struck me. I looked at my lovely wife and said, “Did we miss the RAPTURE?”. 
My wife has learned to listen to me, only on occasion. The look in her eyes told me that she was considering whether this was that rare occasion when I deserved a reply. Wives are like that.
As we approached a primary traffic artery, I saw a significant stream of traffic coming our way, headed to downtown Atlanta. I said, “Who are all these people?”.
My better half, in  the spirit of the moment replied, “It’s those Godless people from Cobb County”.
You have to understand about Cobb County. Those Godless Cobbites run rough shod over our roads, causing horrible traffic jams, to get to work in a metropolitan area in which they have steadfastly refused to participate in the regional transit system. It is easy to see that most of them will not be included in the Rapture.
I live for meaningful moments like this. It satisfies me a great deal to know that I married a woman who can think like me.