A Song About My Wife 5

She Ain’t Got Ugly, Yet

When I was young and full of myself
I dated long and often
Then I met a girl who caught my eye
With her good looks and her cooking

She ain’t got ugly yet
No, She ain’t got ugly yet
Her momma was a looker and a real good cooker
And she ain’t got ugly yet

I made my pitch and we got hitched
With each other to live forever
She raised our kids and she’s still a looker
We have managed to stay together

She ain’t got ugly yet
O, She ain’t got ugly yet
She was the prettiest girl in Tennessee
And she ain’t got ugly yet

She don’t like football, booze, or cars
And she frowns on those who do
She kicks me around like an old hound dog
And her kids are afraid of her, too

O, She ain’t got ugly yet
No, she ain’t got ugly yet
She runs our family with an iron hand
And she ain’t got ugly, yet

We are getting old, and tired and slow
Folks see my deterioration
When they look at my woman they like what they see
And wonder how we got together

O, she ain’t got ugly yet
No, she ain’t got ugly yet
She’s tough as nails with a tender heart
And she ain’t got ugly yet.

We are on life’s downhill, all retired
Our lives we have lived together
We don’t care what we look like now
Our love continues forever

O, she ain’t got ugly yet
No, she ain’t got ugly yet
She started life as pretty as they come
And she ain’t got ugly yet

 

Note: This here song is copyrighted by me and if any of you folks copy it or parts of it I will find out and do terrible things. Just think, Law Suit.

Tired Of Politics? Try A Reality Show 3

This political season started the morning after the last election, and will not end until November of this year. We have had non-stop political coverage on the cable news channels for the last year or more, and it has become really tiresome. It is even worse now that the primary season has started.

Picture of Rick Santorum

You Are All Sinners!

Now, I like politics almost as much as the next person, and my opinions are more correct than most others. Why should I waste my time giving others a chance to convince me of something for which I have no respect? I can find better ways to spend my valuable time than watching Rick Santorum explaining why condoms are bad. A lot of people think that way.

In my search for other pursuits, I have stumbled on even more entertaining, and sometimes stupid, television productions. Oh, yes, bring more of those Real Housewives of Beverly Hills with all their trivial concerns and parties. We all know the whole thing is staged. Even so, the girls do a credible job with their acting.

Kyle Richard, Actress And Beverly Hills Housewife

Kyle Richards, Actress And Beverly Hills Housewife

The Real Housewives of Atlanta is a real kick, too, with all those lovely, big-busted ladies pretending to be relevant. One of them recently said that they make their living with their  , uhmm, somethings.

On this Saturday afternoon before football starts, I am watching that hugely popular reality show, Ax Men on the History Channel. This is one of the best productions since Ice Road Truckers and The Most Dangerous Catch. Logging is a dangerous job, and these guys demand respect for the chances they take everyday on the job.

The newest, and most entertaining reality show this season is on the Discovery channel, The Moonshiners! In this series, Tim, and his little brother, Tickle, make moonshine literally by the light of the moon. Tim is trying to make enough money to go legit and make whiskey legally, but the law is after his kind, using infrared imagers, airplanes, helicopters, and the usual set of informants. Plus, little brother, Tickle, seems to drink a good bit of what they make, staying drunk most of the time.

In one scene, Tickle got all patriotic and exclaimed, “If you love your country, you’ve got to love moonshine!”

Tim, Lead Moonshiner On Discovery Channel Reality Show

Tim

You know, I kind of agree with Tickle. Our country was built by famous whiskey makers and whiskey drinkers. George Washington was one of the largest whisker distillers in the young country, and, certainly, Ben Franklin was no slacker in his consumption of that product.

Tickle, Tim's Little Brother

Tickle

Tim and Tickle are the primary stars of the show, but there is a really good segment on the most famous moonshiner of all, Popcorn Sutton.

Old Popcorn is not with us anymore. He was caught by the revenuers, and committed suicide because he didn’t want to go to prison. Do not dispair because Popcorn left his recipe with a protege, who later went legit and is legally marketing their moonshine.

Popcorn Sutton

Popcorn Sutton

Life is great, ain’t it?

The message is clear. Whenever you get tired of all the political mumbo-jumbo on cable news, take heart. There is reality show on a channel near you.