Immaculate Conceptions Back In Style

The nation awoke this morning to the news that millions of American women were confessing tens of millions of cases of Virgin Birth. Oh, how satisfied the Pope must feel at the news that somehow millions of formerly earthy, vile, and profane people are now getting it. Virgin Birth is not only possible but has become dominant over night.

New Jersey housewife,  Gloria Gloriana, when asked what brought about her biological epiphany said, “That Donald Trump said such awful things about women. My husband never said those kinds of things and would never think of acting that way”. Mrs Fairlie Stupendo, also a New Jersey housewife, agreed saying, ” My husband is nothing like Mr Trump, and his poker buddies and golfing friends never talk that way.” Both of these biological marvels are former employees at the Ba-Da-Bing! Gentlemen’s Club and charter members of the Newark “Women For Hillary” advocacy.

Of course, not all immaculate conceptions are claimed by former strip club women. Many are from more pedestrian backgrounds such as university campuses that abound in safe places where delicate women will not have to hear men talk about their hoo-hoos. This is a drive for genital anonymity in spite of the fact that these snowflakes also tend to wear thongs at the beach during spring break, their hoo-hoos on display for all to see.

In defense of immaculate conception and the sanctity of the American womanhood, a new mens’ group has been formed called, “Hoo-Hoo And You”. The charter establishes the idea that all children shall be conceived by immaculate conception, and husbands are no longer required except on weekends and that once popular pagan holiday that falls on the winter solstice. From now on, men will have to forgo any type of sexual activity with women because the hoo-hoo is sacrosanct and never to be mentioned by Republicans.

My friends, you can’t just make this stuff up. It helps to watch CNN to understand the political underpinnings of this latest attack on a candidate.

12 thoughts on “Immaculate Conceptions Back In Style”

  1. No. The guy was talking about marital infidelity, bragging in fact, even though he admitted he was unsuccessful at it.
    And then about forcing unexpected physical advances on women he felt would be in awe of his starness.
    That said, it was 11 years ago, and I have, in the past, been guilty of similar crass, boorish behavior.
    So, I’ll give him a pass, but no excuse.

  2. Yes. He was talking about marital infidelity. I have heard men, and some women, talk like that all my life. The holier than thou reaction is over blown, I think, and people are being hypocritical if they say they never heard or participated in like conversations. I am not giving the man a pass, but I will not be the first one to cast a stone.

  3. Hahahhaa. I understand that Gloria Gloriana was a cousin to Rose Roseanna Danna.

    Well I had some friends back in the 70’s who moved close to an Amish community in Ohio. The female said she never heard such filthier vile sexual talk than she did from the Amish girls in the bathrooms.

  4. Kid: I worked for a year after high school, part of it at a factory assembly line with just a couple of guys and a lot of women. Believe me, I got an education in bawdy language. They were all too old for me to have any interest. When I worked on construction as labor with a lot of black guys, the education continued. Believe me, the language of female body parts and what to do with them is a universal language, and those ladies at the bottom of the food chain understand it. It seems to me that a lot of the people offended by Trump’s language have been sheltered like the snowflakes on college campuses, today. Note that I don’t like Trump, but will vote for him over a documented liar and scofflaw who is probably responsible in some way for the death of four brave men. Hillary is despicable.

  5. Ed: Oops! I also worked with white guys, too. I do remember black guys having unique outlooks on things. When I worked for the TV/AM/FM station in Memphis, I had to work on Christmas Eve one year. I started work at eleven at night, and worked until seven the next morning. Well, that night I slept until the last minute, and drove to work without getting anything to eat. One of the guys at the station let me go find a diner and get a burger. There was only one in town open, and several people were waiting at the counter for service. I sat next to a black guy who, it turned out, had gotten married that day. He was drunk, and told me that he had already cheated on his new wife, and gave me an excuse why he did it. It seems that they got into an argument, and he told her he could be with anybody he wanted. So, he proved it. I am not suggesting that this was black culture in Memphis in the late 1960’s. It is just one of those things you remember when you want to think that everybody thinks like you do. I knew plenty of white guys with the same kind of values. Thanks for your comments.

  6. Wow, I’m late to the game here! WELL! I didn’t quite grab the meaning of your post, hate to say, but I thought it was more that these women honestly think their husbands don’t talk bawdily and don’t think lustily about other women….that THEIR husbands never have sex on their holy minds and so it’s a miracle they conceived at all…..I think I must have got it wrong, according to the men’s reactions to the post.
    TELL ME!! 🙂

  7. Z: I think you just about nailed what I was trying to say. You see, my life was sheltered very little when I was coming up. Sure, my parents were Christians as was the rest of my family, but we were poor and lived in a neighborhood bordering on some bad parts of town. My junior high school was three blocks from a 1950’s housing project, and we got a LOT of those kids mixed in with us. My oh my, was the language always bad and shocking.

    Since my dad was a carpenter, and ran his own little construction business, I worked on construction jobs as a laborer several times with some of the most earthy people, black and white, you can imagine.

    After I graduated from high school, and spent about four months lolly-gagging around in Los Angeles (1963 – were you there?), I went to work at a factory in South Memphis (bad part of town) on an assembly line where the workers were mostly women. My little ears turned red everyday during the eight months I was there. That’s why the Trump recording was not a surprise to me, although I don’t respect those who talk that way.

    The Billy Bush recording was made 11 years ago, and I think we can forgive him for a few of his indiscretions. Those women, and men, criticizing Trump are in my opinion hypocritical in that they and their spouses have heard dirty talk before if not from each other, from friends and work colleagues.

    It must be a horrible thing for women to contemplate being grabbed by their genitals. If you went to the junior high school I did that’s all the male students could think about. Grabbing girls. I would gamble on most married women having had their genitals touched by a man at least once during their marriage. That’s where the immaculate conception idea comes from. Apparently, the woman swooning over the fragrant profanity of Billy Bush and Donald Trump are mothers who have never been touched by a man, nor would they ever dream of such. Hence, immaculate conceptions.

    I apologize if I have in any way upset or insulted you or womanhood. But, that’s the world I was brought up in, and I don’t think anybody can escape the biological imperatives that nature forces on both males and females. Just saying…

  8. Bob, I updated some info in my COMMENTS SECTION on the Armenian thing because you asked an excellent question about “who martyred them”…thanks for asking…I was too dull witted to wonder myself! (WHY!?!!) OH, well.

    LOVED reading about your life….yes, I was here in ’63, but I was 12 (don’t tell anybody!! HA!) so we wouldnb’t have met. Did you like L.A.? I hope so! What a difference from Memphis!!
    I am NOT offended at ALL by what you said…I think American women have to put their big girl pants on again and GET OVER IT. Men want to tell you that you look beautiful and shouldn’t expect to be SUED for it. What a sad turn of events.

    I had a very different upbringing than you because I was raised in a slightly upper middle class situation, so I must admit to being highly naive for many years…Honestly, Bob, I thought EVERY CHILD was wanted and cared for like my folks cared for me and my 4 sisters! Imagine? true.
    We had no grabbing of girls in school where I went, that’s for sure…….Not sure if it’s better to be overly protected or raised in your situation……..I think you grew up with more sheer common sense and street smart than I DID.

    So, as much as I think Trump IS a pig and I don’t for a second believe he hasn’t hit BIG time on women, I can’t let that bug me too much because when I think of what Hillary has done Trump pales in comparison……..he hurts women, she hurts AMERICA. He wins. !!


  9. Z: I didn’t mean to give the impression that the whole JR High school was a cess-pool of grabbing the girls, etc. There was some of that, but it was after school with some of the seedier denizens. I feel like I had a good childhood and upbringing, along with some street lessons thrown in. In my college years I observed that kids from New Jersey and points north of Tennessee had better street smarts than folks in Memphis. They could out trash-talk anybody.

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