The New Leader Of The Pack! 2

Barack Obama portrait

Former World Leader Obama

For years and years we have heard the prophecy that one day the power and prestige of the United States of America would be outdone by another nation. There have been lots of philosophical, theocratic, and alcohol tinged forecasts about when this would happen, and who would be the new world leader.

Well, much to our chagrin, the new leader is not the United States of America. That’s kind of obvious. The real surprise is that our standing has been eclipsed by a nation that was literally bankrupt a decade ago. Back then the USA tried to help these former communists make a go of it as a democracy.

Oh, how the worm turns.

We did not lose a war. We have not gone monetarily bankrupt. Our citizenry have not gotten much lazier. So, what happened to the robust, thriving, confident United States of America? What has made us a bunch of losers?

We elected Barack Obama.

Obama is an apologist for Marxist dogma, and an unrepentant activist in outdated social philosophies. All it takes is one disastrous leader to bring down an empire, and thrust an entire civilization into poverty and slavery. We have found ours and his name is Obama.

Our new world leader is a man of great accomplishments. He started life in modest surroundings and succeeded in accomplishing the American Russian Dream!

Vladimir Spiridonovich Putin

Vladimir Spiridonovich Putin

Little Vlad followed in the footsteps of his father, Vladimir Spiridonovich, who was a cop in the Soviet NKVD. They took care of everything from traffic tickets to political executions, whatever was needed at the moment.

As an elementary school student, he copied his father and specialized in breaking the fingers of those who would not give up their lunch money. In high school he graduated magnum cum louder, and was the top sharp-shooter in his AK-47 class. He was also the recipient of the Joseph Stalin medal for diplomatic debasement.

KBG officer Putin

Lieutenant Colonel Vladimir Putin, KGB

Hitching his wagon to the Communist Party star, Vlad went on to secure fame and glory at the International Law branch of the Law Department of the Leningrad State University in 1975. His PhD thesis was on international law, and titled, “The West Can’t Do Anything When You Spit In Their Face“. Well, maybe not. The real title is in the Wikipedia article, somewhere.

With his KGB career into full swing, young Vladimir achieved the lofty heights of Lieutenant Colonel, and was awarded the Russian Federation Order of Honour. For this honor he was photographed for the centerfold of Pravda’s monthly magazine, “Our Russian Heros”. Putin’s topless photo is legendary.

Without further ado, allow me to present the newest Leader Of The Free World, Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.

pic of putin on horse

President Vladimir Putin

2 comments

  1. Well done, Bob! I though you might like this tungue-in-cheek suggestion from one of my favorite satirist, TOTUS:

    Putin for President (of the United States) in 2016
    Posted: 16 Sep 2013 07:18 AM PDT

    AMERICA NEEDS A REAL MAN IN THE WHITE HOUSE AND NOT SOME WIMPY COMMUNITY ORGANIZER. SO I’M JOINING THE GROWING NUMBER OF AMERICANS FOR VLADIMIR PUTIN. WHAT YOU SAY, HE IS NOT ELIGIBLE BECAUSE HE WAS BORN IN THE OLD USSR. AS HILLARY CLINTON WOULD SAY, “WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE”! ALL ONE NEEDS IS A DOCTORED BIRTH CERTIFICATE. HOWEVER, AS I UNDERSTAND IT, PUTIN WAS BORN ON THE GROUNDS OF THE AMERICAN EMBASSY IN MOSCOW WHERE HIS PREGNANT MOTHER WAS WORKING UNDERCOVER FOR THE KGB. OFFICIALLY THAT WOULD MAKE HIM A CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES. AND I FEEL SURE THE KGB CAN PROVIDE DOCUMENTATION AS TO THAT FACT. OF COURSE PUTIN DOESN’T SPEAK ENGLISH AND SOME CLAIM THAT WOULD BE A PROBLEM IN THE CAMPAIGN AND LATER AFTER HE IS ELECTED.

    BUT MOST AMERICANS WILL NOT CONCERN THEMSELVES WITH THAT BECAUSE AMERICANS DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE CURRENT PRESIDENT IS SAYING AND JUST WHEN THEY THINK THEY DO, THEY FIND HE IS LYING SO WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE. AND PRESIDENT PUTIN WOULD IMMEDIATELY BEGIN TO CUT THE BUDGET BY LAYING OFF THE ENTIRE SECRET SERVICE AS HE CAN HANDLE HIS OWN SECURITY. THAT ALONE WOULD CUT HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS FROM THE VAST WHITE HOUSE BUDGET. AND WHEN IT COMES TO OIL PRODUCTION PRESIDENT PUTIN WOULD MAKE US TOTALLY INDEPENDENT FROM MIDDLE EAST OIL BY BUILDING PIPE LINES AND OPENING ALL FEDERAL LANDS TO DRILLING. AND IF THAT DIDN’T WORK HE WOULD JUST TAKE THAT DAMN ARAB OIL AT GUN POINT IF NECESSARY. SOME MAY SAY, THAT PUTIN WOULD NOT FOLLOW THE CONSTITUTION OR UPHOLD THE PRINCIPLES OF THE FOUNDERS, WELL DOES OUR CURRENT PRESIDENT. WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE ANYWAY. YES, AMERICA NEEDS A MAN LIKE VLADIMIR PUTIN AT THE HELM. A MAN OF ACTION, A DECISIVE LEADER WHO CAN MAKE A DECISION IN A TIME OF CRISIS AND NOT LEAVE AMERICANS TO DIE IN SOME FOREIGN LAND WAITING FOR HELP TO COME. WE HAVE ALREADY ELECTED A “MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE”. AT LEAST WITH VLADIMIR WE KNOW WHAT WE’RE VOTING FOR. PUTIN FOR PRESIDENT.

  2. “PUTIN WAS BORN ON THE GROUNDS OF THE AMERICAN EMBASSY IN MOSCOW ”

    TOTUS is really good. I assume that this is the Teleprompter Of The United States speaking (TOTUS)?

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