In a surprise announcement last night from the White House, President Barack Obama said his new motto would be, “Drill Baby, Drill!”. Acknowledging that the price of gasoline is rising sharply, much of which is due to his energy policy, the President has made up his mind that he is on the side of the American people for a change.
This was followed by additional news that the President has fired Energy Secretary Chu, and Scientific Advisor Holdren . Obama explained that when the train goes off the tracks, the first thing to do is to fire the man who was running the engine. Since he couldn’t fire himself, he chose to fire his incompetent advisors.
One reporter pointed out that Secretary Chu was a world-renowned scientist, and even had a Nobel Prize. Obama answered sharply, “So what? I’ve got one of those, and so does Al Gore, and he is certainly not the brightest bulb in the scoreboard.”
When asked the question, “Why have you changed your mind to do something good for America instead of China?”, the President replied that the motto came to him in a dream while undergoing a recent colonoscopy. He dreamed that the entire medical team was chanting the words, “drill, baby, drill” during the procedure.
Dr Fistus Von Heinie, Professor of Analoccularity at Harvard, was the attending physician. When asked about the dream and the chant, the doctor replied, “Ve vould neber say such a ‘ting, no matter how high da price of petrol for our Mercedes Benz”. Dr Heinie added that the President was due for a cranialrectotomy, a separation of a person’s head from his butt.
That would solve lots of problems in this country.