Spring is here, the sun is out, and the birds have all come home. We have been seeing a little family of cardinals on the rear deck of our home, again. The male is a beautiful red bird, and it makes my heart sing to see him flit around so carefree and unknowing of the dangers surrounding him.
Environmentalists say we are polluting our earth, and my little red friend is in trouble. We have to do something about it. Carbon dioxide, methane, di-hydrogen oxide, and pure oxygen are dangerous if there is too much of these gases in the atmospheric mix. The scary thing is that they are all naturally occurring.
Carbon dioxide is a natural fertilizer, and with all the coal fired electric generating stations belching CO2 into the atmosphere, the greener and bigger plant life on earth becomes. Oh, the horror of it all.
Methane is a very flammable gas emitted by pine trees and other denizens of the vegetable world. Large amounts of methane is produced by rotting vegetation, and animals digesting vegetation. Flatulent cows were once thought to be a primary cause of methane in the atmosphere, until they actually measured the stuff.
Too much oxygen will get you high, and can explode in the right concentrations. Di-hydrogen oxide can ruin a perfectly good wedding gown. There is potential trouble every time that little red bird inhales.
It has been hundreds of thousands of years since there has been more CO2 in our atmosphere than today. It made for a greener earth, and that’s where all that bio-matter came from that eventually made up our oil and coal deposits. That’s where we get our electricity. Well, we will just have to do without all that electricity because those plants are getting too big, too green, and too mean.
Our environmentalist buddies suggest that we all get to a zero carbon state. Biologically, this state of being is called, dead. I suppose this solves their problem of coal use, oil use, over population,and hydrogenated cooking oil.
All we have to do is to get everybody to up and die. Problem solved. The environmental activists want to eradicate human life from the earth, thereby saving the planet.
But, what if our little environmentalist buddies are wrong? What if the history of planet earth says our climate has handled more carbon dioxide before without ill effects? What if all the CO2 is beneficial to life on earth? What if a warming earth is a natural thing, and carbon dioxide has nothing to do with the current warm climate?
My environmental solution is less invasive to existing human life. Among people, the greatest producers of methane events are vegetarians, who also happen to be active members of Green Peace, The Sierra Club, and the World Wildlife Fund. They produce more carbon dioxide and more methane than saner, more normal people.
Just kill the environmental whackos and we won’t have any problems. My little family of red birds will be able to breathe freely, once again.