Something was going on. For the last couple of nights, we have been awakened by sounds in our house. The problem is that by the time I am awake, the noise stops. It is almost as if someone is sneaking up the stairs to do us a whacking, Soprano style.
Yeah, I know that’s paranoid, but you get that way in a two story house after all the kids have moved out. But, wait! They left their dog. Certainly our trusty, faithful hound would make lots of noise and defend us if someone broke into our house.
Or maybe not. The little wiener dog is going on sixteen years old, and he not only cannot hike his leg, anymore, but he can’t hear it thunder. Plus, when he knows we are gone, he goes nuts because he is afraid to stay by himself. He thinks our job is to protect him, not the other way around.
So much for our guard dog. What can we do to keep ourselves safe? Did some alien vessel follow me as I returned from the other side of the Milky Way the other night? Maybe I didn’t shake them during the chase, after all. I may have to call out the Fleet Guard to help me.
Today as I was preparing for my nocturnal battle, I was working at my computer trying to figure out the best way to fight life forms that are other than carbon based. That is when I heard the noise, again. This time, I was not asleep and didn’t wonder if I was dreaming.
Scratch, thump, bump. rattle, rattle, rattle. It was very disturbing until I realized that my problems were terrestrial rather than space based.
I have critters in my attic!
I hear scratching, scraping, rattling, screeching, and yowling. There is little doubt that a family of squirrels have set up housekeeping in my attic. Plus, I hear some peep-peep-peeping, like there are little ones up there, too.
This problem may be worse than space aliens inhabiting the upper reaches of my house. At least, I don’t have to worry about droppings, disease, and fleas from my space buddies.
So, I called one of those Rid-A-Critter services, and expect a callback any second, now.
Folks, this is serious!