The Political Season 3

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
Ecclesiastes 3:1


This is a Biblical thing that I have always read with an eye to actual experience. To say that there is a time for EVERYTHING is a strong statement, and brings out the legalistic monster in all of us.


For example, is there a season for killing? Does everyone get to go about killing at random, or at will? Is there a season for sinning? I thought pretty much all sinning was open season. For Ecclesiastes to speak in such generalities is to me like one of those sayings generated in small towns by out of work farmers dipping snuff and whittling on wooden sticks.


Like many sayings, there may be some truth in this one. We all know that our year is divided into seasons, and agricultural societies look forward to the seasons to plant, nurture, harvest, and breed. In our modern society all this stuff is transparent, but we can still name seasons like baseball season, football season, and chili season (not seasoning). Hamburgers and hot dogs are good year round.


The National Political Season used to come every four years and lasted only a few months. The cycle is still four years, but the duration is up to about one and one-half to two years, now. Some presidential candidates campaign pretty much full time, including the incumbent.


With the political season come new rules of conduct that should apply only during that period of the cycle. Politicians have the right to modify the rules of language and courtesy, and fling BS…


OK, we need to pause, here, for some language modification. It is not polite to use bathroom or fecal related expressions in civilized circles. Who knows, maybe there are children present. To repair this linguistic error, I will borrow a phrase from my childhood that means pretty much the same thing as the metaphoric BS. Let’s replace BS with Horse Feathers (HF). Now, I feel better.


To continue…
During the political season, politicians have the right to modify the rules of language and courtesy, and fling BS horse feathers at each other with impunity. A pol can lie, twist meaning, misquote, and even accuse his opponent with ridiculous crimes and not be held responsible for any of this calumny. 


Most importantly, a candidate is allowed tons of horse feathers in establishing their political positions on important issues like abortion, gun control, genocide, and jay-walking. The news media awards points to the most creative, and nuanced positions. For example, a liberal candidate is allowed to say that he/she is pro-choice without explaining that their choice is between candy and breath mints. Cool, huh?


After the primary wars have cleared the field to only two opponents, these guys are allowed to change their positions to further comply with a large segment of voters, comically called “independents”. Independent voters are parasites who get taken out to dinner, invited to phony town-hall meetings, and wined and dined by election consultants who need warm bodies for their focus groups. 


The idea that independent voters have not made up their minds is a double load of horse feathers. The truth about independent voters is they always have their minds made up. 


They will vote for whoever gives them the most goodies. That’s the American way.


Happy political season, everybody.





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3 comments

  1. 'the AMerican way'..that's cynical as it gets! probably right, though!By the way, what is a SPINNING SALAD? Come tell me! AND, I don't believe that Ecclesiastes means, literally, EVERYTHING, like killing!I think it means the normal seasons of our lives……youth, adolescence, marriage, old age….to every thing there is a season….That's how I read it; that our lives develop as the seasons, and all of those seasons will fit us when the time comes.

  2. Good heavens, campaigning for a year, that must get tiresome.I also share a bit of your frustration with these swing-voters, i've actually heard some of these people tell us they still haven't made up their minds on polling day.Seriously, even after day after day of policy, analysis, platitudes and what not from each party/candidate, they're still scratching their ass!I say they just want their 15 seconds of fame or some freebies.

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